Should You Try To Change Someone?

Summary

• When thinking about changing a spouse or partner, I view it similarly to assessing someone in the workplace. It's essential to consider their rate of progress and the return on my effort.

• The key question is at what cost someone changes and how quickly that change occurs. It's important to recognize that real change must come from their own will, which can be challenging.

• Trying to change someone into something they don't want to be is usually not successful. People often ask me how to get their spouse to be like me, but Alex and I worked well because I already wanted those things before we met.

• In both relationships and professional settings, I evaluate whether it's worth investing in someone's growth or if it's more beneficial to find someone who is already aligned with my goals and possesses the necessary skills and traits.

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How To Take Action

I would suggest implementing these strategies when considering change, whether in personal growth or relationships. First, assess progress rates and effort return. In any relationship—personal or professional—you should pause and think about how quickly the change might happen and at what cost. This reflection will help gauge whether it’s worth investing your time and energy.

A good way of doing this is by understanding that real change must come from the person’s own will. You can encourage growth, but remember, you can't force someone to change into something they don't want to be. It’s like trying to make a tree grow faster by pulling at its branches—you’ll just end up frustrated.

Next, focus on finding people who are already aligned with your goals. For a business owner, this might mean hiring employees who naturally fit into your company culture. For personal relationships, it might mean spending time with those who share your life goals and values.

Invest your resources wisely. Whether it's time, energy, or emotional support, decide where your input will get the best return. Sometimes, moving forward with someone new who already has the skills and traits you value might be the better choice. This way, you’re not stuck trying to transform someone against their will.

By following these steps, you set a solid foundation for thriving personal and professional relationships.