Expectations In a Relationship
Summary
- I believe relationships are fundamentally about managing expectations.
- It's important to communicate your expectations to your partner before they are unmet.
- I advocate for setting high expectations for oneself, but having lower expectations for your partner and others.
- Having preferences in a relationship is healthier than imposing strict expectations.
- It's unrealistic and unfair to burden others with high expectations, except for essential deal breakers.
- When a partner doesn't meet a preference, it doesn't necessitate a negative reaction or a breakup.
- Recognizing that not everything will go your way is a part of healthy relationships.
- Minor annoyances, like leaving clothes on the floor, shouldn't be grounds for exerting control or causing major conflict.
Video
How To Take Action
I would suggest starting with clear communication about what you expect in your relationships, both personal and professional. Before feeling let down, talk about what you hope to see from others.
It’s smart to aim high for your own goals, but take it easy on others. This means you try your best, but you don't wait for everyone else to be perfect. It's not fair or kind to make others feel like they always have to meet high standards, except for the really big things that you can't overlook.
When you think about what you want from your partner, choose preferences rather than hard rules. If they do something different from what you like, it's okay. Not every little thing has to make you upset or want to end the relationship.
Remember that things might not always go how you want — this is a part of being with someone. Small stuff, like not being tidy, isn't worth fighting over or trying to control them. This keeps relationships happy and healthy.
To put this in action, sit with your partner or team and talk about what's most important to you. Make a list if that helps. Stick to dealing with big issues and let the small things slide. And always, always work on being your best self – this will make a big difference in every part of life.
Quotes
"At the end of the day relationship comes down to expectations and a lot of people don't express the expectations they have"
– Leila Hormozi
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"Personally, I like to have high expectations of myself, low expectations of my partner"
– Leila Hormozi
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"I like to have high expectations of myself, low expectations of my partner and honestly of other people in general"
– Leila Hormozi
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"We can have preferences rather than expectations"
– Leila Hormozi
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"I think it's very difficult to put an expectation on somebody in a relationship rather than fundamental ones that would be deal breakers"
– Leila Hormozi
